Wednesday, November 28, 2007

We Have Tissue Issues

I moved into a new apartment at the beginning of November. This move marked the first time I would have roommates other than a sibling. It's a 3 bedroom apartment with two other guys. Since I've been here I have probably seen my roommates a total of 10 times. They're both nice guys, keep to themselves, and seem to be very easy going. My one roommate pseudonym Jed, has the master bedroom and his own bathroom. He is almost never home. I share a bathroom with the other guy, pseudonym Cletis. Cletis never takes the lone covered parking spot we all share, he always takes out the garbage, loads and unloads the dishwasher all the time, always cleans the bathroom, and has even moved his towel off the only towel rack in the bathroom. I'm quite sure I could smear feces all over his bedroom and he wouldn't even question me. Just quietly clean it up. So the one thing he won't budge on is the way the toilet paper is loaded. I prefer the flap to hang from behind. He likes it hanging over in the front. We've never spoken of our differences, but there is an unspoken battle in the bathroom. Because I hate the front hang so much I always change it, sometimes even when I'm visiting another person's facilities. I just like it better this way. My second day in my new apartment I had noticed the toilet paper roll had already been switched back to the front over hang. I decided not to make waves and left it. But next time I had to change the roll I put the toilet paper the way I like it. I feel like since I changed it I could call dibs on the placement of the said roll. No sir, this dastardly Cletus changed it to suit his preference. Every time I change the toilet paper I put it the way I like it and at random times reverse his handy work. But sure enough I always find it in the front hang position. We still have not had a conversation concerning this matter. But I sense this hidden wedge will one day destroy our apartment harmony. The only way to remedy this situation is to install another toilet paper dispenser on the wall. I refuse to be a front hang toilet paper user, it is so uncouth.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are crazy. It should definitely hang down over the front. Having it hang from behind makes it hard to rip off paper without wasting it. Poor Cletus is just trying to save you all some money; give the guy a break.

The Donkey said...

Cletis is obviously a jerk. Smash the TP off the wall and then see how he feels about pulling TP off the floor that you just dirtied.

mrs. everything said...

I prefer to have it hang off the front too. You and some wife are going to have problems one day.