Thursday, January 17, 2008

Chronicles of the Online Hunt: Laying the Bait

I have recently decided to go hunting on LDS Singles, an Internet dating website. I've been in this digital wilderness now for about 2 weeks and I will report my findings thus far:
For the first few days I mostly observed the grazing habits of the females in this strange land. I had little success getting too close to the majority of the herd. The slightest noise or movement seemed to scare them off. Note: I did have immediate success with the larger game but I prefer the more gamy meat. I evaluated the situation and decided my bait (profile picture and introduction) was not sufficient for this type of creature. So I beefed it up so to speak. Added a picture that was overly complementing of my looks and put some pictures in my photo album. Then I made my intro a little more wordy and added an interests list. This tactic seemed to attract the more desirable females in this land. The prey was now coming to eat small amounts of food I had laid down around me. However, they would not yet eat out of my hand . What could be wrong? Note: Larger game still seems to be a problem, could be scaring off smaller game or using up all the bait. Even when I ignore large game they still seem to infiltrate my camp. Must try harsher tactics. I am getting ready to spring a few of the traps that I've set. I'll report my findings when and if I capture any of these creatures. It would be wonderful to be able to study these animals up close and in a controlled environment.

5 comments:

Lou said...

you freak. if you posted your taste in music im sure thats whats scaring off the mates.

Recondo said...

Maybe thay can see you hidding in the brush from the glare off your head. Now that you have removed the hair on your body you have no natural camo

Anonymous said...

By larger game are you referring to fat chicks?

Anonymous said...

i did not authorize you to use a picture of me, this must be what you meant when you said a flattering photo, because no such thing exists of you. if this is a hunt my friend be careful if you shoot at the large game the gunfire might scare off the ones you are after.

c.marie said...

why don't you give the ladies your blog...i am sure they will be magnitized then.